


Never Alone

by docwho2100



Category: Defying Gravity
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-04 18:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docwho2100/pseuds/docwho2100
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timing:  Starts a few days before Christmas of their second year in space….. Jen has been more and more isolated.</p><p>Location:  They had found a large asteroid that had the possible trace of biological material.  Jen had managed to convince them to let her take the small lander.  As she retrieved a sample, a crucial component of the lander malfunction, rendering the lander dead, life support and other systems slowly shutting down as the backup energy system is running out and the Antares needs to make a crucial burn and course adjustment, which will take them away from the lander.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shopfront](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/gifts).



Happy Yuletide

 

AN 1 – I did not try to calculate the timing of the space journey, so the timing and where they are located may not really fit, but ah well, please forgive the lapse in science reality ;)

 

AN 2 – for the reference to the forest scene – think of Laura Harris and how she looked in the show Book of Beasts

 

AN 3 – I ran out of time and did not get to advance the one flashback past some general interaction.  If you would like an NC-17 version, let me know and as soon as I have a little more time, I'd be happy to send you the scene when I get a chance to write it.

 

Happy reading and keep Defying Gravity ;)

 

Timing:  Starts a few days before Christmas of their second year in space….. Jen has been more and more isolated.

Location:  They had found a large asteroid that had the possible trace of biological material.  Jen had managed to convince them to let her take the small lander.  As she retrieved a sample, a crucial component of the lander malfunction, rendering the lander dead, life support and other systems slowly shutting down as the backup energy system is running out and the Antares needs to make a crucial burn and course adjustment, which will take them away from the lander.

\-------------  

 

"Ted, we can't leave her.  I know she's…"  Zoe broke off pacing back and forth, not caring that everyone in the observation deck was watching as well as the few on the closed floor of Mission Control.  "How can you be so cruel and callous? To even suggest we make the scheduled burn."

 

"That is like a slap to the face Zoe, you know of all the people in ISO, we would never…"

 

"Good, you all should be slapped,"  Zoe rounded on Ted, her voice thick with emotion, her eyes straying for a moment to a screen that had a split display.  The left side showing one of Antares small landers, the other side containing a set of readings, a countdown clock indicating there was less than an hour of breathable air left in the lander.

 

"Hey, you know, I was thinking,"  Wass spoke up, flinching as people looked his way.  "There might be a way to contact Jen.  If she's not d… Whoa..."  He flung his hands up as Zoe was charging, her hand raised and primed for a slap.

 

"If you so much as breathe the D word or anything else, I will personally shred and erase every personal effect you have on here, including all of your clothes."  Zoe's words came out clipped as her face was less than a millimeter from the physicist's.

 

She pivoted and swung a finger at everyone, "That goes for all of you."  She paused and coughed, choking back her emotion.  "Jen is fine and we'll get to her lander and replace the part and, it all will be ok.  Damn bacteria globule things."  She swung her hand down and hit her hip with her fist. 

 

Jen had been drifting more and more the last year.  Focused on her science and not much else.  When they had found out about Rollie’s accident and incarceration, Jen and Rollie had broken up.  After that, Jen had just pulled back even more from everyone.  It also did not help that everyone else was able to see and interact with the entities; everyone but Jen.

 

God how she had wanted to bring one back that Jen could see.  She smiled, ignoring the background noise a minute as she thought back to when she had returned from Venus.  Everyone had been concerned and taken care of her, but Jen had done more, Jen had hovered. 

 

Zoe’d been in and out for the first few days, not always real aware of what was going on around her.  Yet, every time she'd woken up, Jen had always been there.  The biologist always moved to the background when Donner or others were around, but she was there.  Zoe had begun to realize she could feel it when Jen was around.  Something she'd not told anyone else, the geologist not sure if it was a trick, some deep longing, or something being facilitated by the entities.

 

She could feel Jen's presence; she always felt safe and secure when the other woman was around.  It had been Jen, not Donner, that had moved a cot into the infirmary, blackmailing Evram to make sure she could constantly take care of Zoe.  She laughed a little as she thought over a conversation Jen had with Evram leading to Jen being able to stay.

 

"Damn your stubbornness,"  she said both in admiration and bitterness.  That stubbornness was something that attracted Zoe to Jen and also ended up causing a lot of trouble.

Attract.

Zoe looked back at the lander, the word bouncing around her head.  She'd admitted to herself the last few days that she was attracted to Jen.  That what had happened so many years ago during training was more than an experiment, more than a passionate one time fling.  She had grown to love Jen, more than a friend, more than family, deeper than anyone else she had ever loved.

 

\---------------  Flashback – during the ISO training, this occurs close to Christmas after the incident with the isolation tanks.

 

"Jen?  What are you doing?"  Zoe had come back to the locker room, having forgotten a book in her locker.  Everyone else was gone, the vacation sorely needed by all.  The geologist had not  expected to find anyone, yet here was Jen, dressed in a bathing suit and wet.  What concerned Zoe the most was her friend was shaking as she paced back and forth, arms wrapped tight around her midsection.

 

"Z-Zo?"  Jen looked in Zoe's direction, not really focusing on the woman.

 

Sensing something was wrong, Zoe dropped her bag on the bench and came over, wrapping her arms Jen to try and comfort her.  "Yeah, I'm here, what's going on, why are you all wet?"

 

Jen began biting on her thumbnail, "Is Ted or Rollie here?"

 

"Nope, everyone has fled, they all wanted to get away and start enjoying their days of freedom.  Did you need me to call them?"

 

"No," the reply was sharp and quick.  "Sorry, I…"  She bit her lip.

 

"You don’t have to tell me anything, I can leave if you want…"  Zoe replied, not letting go of Jen as she kept a careful watch on her friend's face to judge her reaction.

 

"Please don't leave me…"

 

Zoe reached up, playing with a bit of hair that stuck out from the swimming cap.  "I never will.  Thought we covered that after that stupid fire drill."

 

Jen managed a half smile, "Never.  Thanks, I…"  Jen finally let go of herself enough so she could reach out, twirling her fingers in the ends of Zoe's hair.  "I was trying to beat it Zoe, just trying to…"

 

"Jen, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

 

"But, I want, need to.  I've never explained to anyone… I… I hate the holidays sometimes.  I was trying to prove that I was… able to not get dragged down by being alone."

 

"Aw, Jen."  Impulsively, Zoe moved to take the swim cap off of Jen, her fingers working through to straighten the wet locks.  "I'm hanging around here for the holidays myself, mom might come out and visit for a day.  Don't suppose you'd consider staying with me, getting my back?"

 

Jen had closed her eyes, finding the way Zoe played with her hair to be soothing and… and surprisingly intoxicating.  She half moaned, her eyes then popping open as she realized she'd done that out loud.  She started to blush, her flushed manner increasing in intensity as she saw Zoe's expression; the expression not disapproving, or one of merriment, rather it was hungry; hungry and desire filled.

 

"I-I meant yes, I'll always get your back."

 

"Get it or watch it?"  Zoe pressed, her fingers weaving deeper into the hair, the geologist stepping into Jen's personal space.

 

Mesmerized, Jen felt like a moth attracted to an intense flame.  Her hand moved, pulling through the long blonde hair, not even thinking as she did that.  "You know, I've been, not really doing much since I broke up with Ted…"

 

"Mmmm?"  Zoe was only half listening as she focused on stroking her fingers along Jen's scalp, her other hand unconsciously coming to rest on Jen's strong shoulder, her hand massaging the muscle.

 

"Uh,"  Jen could not complete her thought as her gaze was drawn to what Zoe's hand was doing.

 

"I am so good."

 

Green eyes snapped up to meet Zoe's playful blue.  "What?

 

"I have so totally thrown you and rendered you unable to make a coherent thought, I am very good." She blew on her knuckles and shined them on her blouse, Jen laughing at the action.

 

The laugh deep and cleansing. Feeling bold, Jen asked, "So, I don't suppose I could stay at your place tonight?"

 

 

"Really?  A girl's night out?"

 

"Or maybe girl's night in.  Come on, I'll give you anything, do anything to make you say yes."

 

"Anything?"

 

Jen didn't flinch from the steely gaze, "Anything."

 

"Anything…"  Zoe began to blush, Jen's brow arching up, puzzled by the reaction.

 

"I, just the one thing I have always regretted was never getting to do the one thing I really wanted to.  The thing I have thought about and the fact that I always thought was how lucky Ted was."

 

Even though she was burning with curiosity, Jen kept silent, knowing Zoe needed to work through this.  Needing to feel like she was helping, she took both of Zoe's hands in hers, squeezing them tight.

 

"I've been envious and I always wondered just what your ruby lips would feel like pressed to my lips, to my neck, slipping along my collarbone and then along the hem of my blouse, gently at first sucking on my nipple, then hungry, needy, lips kissing, sucking and working lower, along my stomach, over my thighs, thighs spread open and inviting, and then to kiss and lick and work over my sex, to have a woman, to have you inside of me, bringing me to a place of sheer ecstasy, delight and raw carnal sex.  Just for one night… to not be alone in my bed."

 

Long, intense silence, steamy, thick, needy, wanton… "One night?"  Jen says, her voice husky, rough, inviting.

 

Zoe pressed her body against Jen, ignoring how the traces of water from Jen's body began to dampen her clothes, "One… night."

 

"Merry Christmas Zoe, and thanks for coming back."

 

Zoe's lips brushed along Jen's, "Merry Christmas Jen. Let's get you out of these wet clothes."

 

\--------------------------back to present

 

Zoe was busy doing the last checks on the suit, her eyes looking at the metal box Wass had helped her pack.  When everyone else had dismissed Steven's ideas, Zoe had pulled him to the kitchen, going over the ideas.  She'd seized the possibility he offered, securing a private line to talk to Ajay and work out the details.  Then she withdrew from the others under the pretense of emotional drain.  She'd shut everything and one out,  ignoring the back and forth on the comms, her focus solely on getting ready for her space walk.

 

She paused in her suiting up as she heard Goss yelling at Wass, followed by comments from Nadia and Paula.  She gave a grateful sigh as she knew the physicist was taking a lot of heat to keep everyone distracted.  She would be indebted to the young man for the rest of her life if she got to Jen.  But then as she had realized over the last few hours, she would do anything to get to Jen and to be with Jen.  She was ready to let go and admit Jen was more than a friend and she wanted to be more than a friend to Jen.

 

Getting into the exit hatch, she began the sequence Wass had taught her, giving the signal phrase to let Steven know to get ready.  "You know, it is so close to Christmas, shouldn't we be focusing on working together?"

 

She tuned out the comments, and then the questions and then the sirens as the sequence went down, and Zoe was able to exit from Antares, a quick burst from the pack on her back pushing her in the direction of the asteroid and the lander. 

 

\--------- Flashback – during the mission training, some time after Zoe had left the program – it is close to Christmas

 

Jen was lucky to find a seat in the last row, the large auditorium packed.  Jen had stopped counting after 97 seats, chuckling as she could hear Zoe’s voice in her head, the geologist chastising her for impatience in not finishing the count even when the biologist could be painstakingly precise when it came to her Petri dishes.

 

Jen focused back on the lecture, catching something about seismic energy and love, the class erupting in laughter.  Jen leaned forward, entranced as she watched Zoe pinch the bridge of her nose, then use the flat of her hand to brush her bangs and hair back, the other hand nestled on the geologist’s hip.  A series of motions very familiar to Jen.  The body language causing a pang of loneliness as she realized how much she had missed those gestures; how much she missed Zoe.

 

"She’s great, yeah?"

 

Blinking a bit, Jen twisted to look at the student next to her.

 

"Professor Barnes is always like this.  Off center and you never know what to expect.  Especially some lectures when she gets this faraway look when talking about certain topics."

 

"Yeah?" 

 

"Yeah it’s great. She also is always making all these biology jokes and talking about some Jen person a lot.  Makes it easy to stay awake.  But hey, all professor’s have quirks, so, as long as I get through the class."

 

"Alright, that’s it,"  Zoe clapped her hands together, smiling.  "The final will be online.  Have a great holiday everyone, where ever and whatever you do."

 

A student stood and called out above the din of people beginning to leave.  "Three cheers for Professor Barnes."

 

Zoe began to blush as the students all gave a cheer.  She waved and then bowed as the students began clapping.  Finally they filed out, a few clustering around Zoe to ask questions.

 

Jen remained sitting until the students had filtered out leaving Zoe alone to collect her materials.  Walking down the steps, Jen could not help but crack a smile as she watched the blonde use the back of her hand to rub at her bangs, sweeping her long hair behind her shoulder.

 

"Professor Barnes, I have a request."

 

"I told you my office hours are tomorrow.  I’ll entertain all questions then."

 

"But it’s important.  I’ve come to save someone."

 

Zoe froze.  A crease developed in her brow as she casually continued straightening her books.  She bit her lip as she looked up, a hesitant, hope-filled expression creeping across her face.  "It can’t be…"

 

"Oh, but it can.  I’ve come to save the fair maiden."

 

Zoe’s head snapped up completely, her face filled with surprise.  "Oh, Jen."

 

"Oh, Zoe."  She held out her arms wide, "Miss me?"

 

Dropping the books, Zoe ran up the steps between them, catching Jen in a bear hug.  "Yes, every day.  I thought you couldn’t get away."

 

"I wasn’t going to be able to.  There… was an accident."  Jen’s tone dropped into a grim rumble as she closed her eyes, twisting her head to the side as vivid memories and images swept over her.

 

Zoe laid a hand on Jen’s shoulder, sliding it along the tense muscle and then up, finally cupping the woman’s neck, "Jen?"

 

"Arnell… he, he lost his leg."

 

Zoe gasped as Jen swallowed hard, the geologist able to feel the bobbing and constriction of Jen’s throat.  Zoe remained silent as Jen related the horrific incident. 

 

Rubbing at her face, Jen nodded.  "I, know, well, that means there is a space open now."

 

Zoe’s eyes flared, her expression one of innocence. 

 

Jen dared to reach up, letting her finger’s trace along the curvature of Zoe’s face.  "Wasn’t expecting that, was you?"

 

Zoe just shook her head no.

 

"I pulled a lot of favors to be the one to come get you."

 

"Get me?"

 

Again Jen was swept up in the child-like amazement displayed by the other woman.

 

"You’re an astronaut again.  They’re waiting for you.  I’m waiting for you."

 

Zoe wrapped her arms around her torso and stepped back.  "I… I don’t know what to say…"

 

"Say yes Zoe, just say yes."

 

"I’m not sure…"

 

"For me?"  Jen bit her lip as her eagerness and anxiousness spilled out.

 

Zoe cocked her head to the side, a guarded, haunted expression in her eyes.  "For you?"

 

"Well, you know I mean…"

 

"Yes."

 

Now Jen was speechless.

 

"You know, this is the second best Christmas present I have ever had."

 

"I’m only the second best present?" Jen said, a bit of cocky swagger in her words and actions.

 

"Well, a 560 Brunton with quad precision and 1 billion data points is a geologist’s wet dream."

 

"I can think of something to make an even better wet dream for a certain geologist."

 

Zoe’s eyes narrowed, a flush building in her cheeks as well as lower.  She’d missed Jen.  The emptiness she’d felt came rushing back as Jen stood on front of her now.  All of the world was new again.

 

"Would you like to show me?"  Zoe replied in a sassy voice.

 

"Do not challenge me.  I will so go all the way."  Jen stepped forward, the conversation immediately shifting from tease to something deeper and more dangerous.

 

"Show me the best Christmas present ever."  Zoe stepped forward as well, her nose rubbing against Jen’s.

 

Jen took in a deep breath, the aroma of Zoe’s perfume intoxicating.  Sweeping forward, she grabbed Zoe’s shoulders, pulling the woman close, their lips meeting, forceful at first, then, slowing as the rush passed.  Jen’s hands pulled up, along the blonde’s body, her hands cupping Zoe’s cheeks as their lips slid together, parting, exploring.

 

"How about you show me a good pub, then I’ll go help you pack?’  Jen’s voice was low and smoky as she pulled away, her eyes holding tight to the blue orbs watching her.

 

"Aren’t you afraid of being called teacher’s pet?"

 

"I’m counting on it."

 

\----------------------------back to present

 

During the trip, Zoe shut off the comms to the Antares and Mission Control.  Only the line to Jen was kept open.  She was getting scared.  She could hear how breathless Jen was, longer and longer times coming between each answer from Jen.

 

"Zoe, I've been running and hiding from the truth for a long time.  I have to let you know, I love you Zoe Barnes, I have since I first met you.  I just thought I had to… have someone to keep me safe.  I found out back then when you left that I could survive alone, I just… wish I could touch you one last time.  Don't… forget me…"

 

"Damnit Jen, stop talking like that."  Zoe was so upset that she did not realize that the comms had switched to a public line, she also did not notice the box she had tethered to her had begun to glow, the glow matching a glow that was lighting up the lander where Jen was taking her last breath as the oxygen had finally run out.

 

"Jen?  Jen!!!"  Zoe was yelling, scared, the stark and painful thought of being alone without Jen rushing through her.  At that moment she knew exactly what Jen had been feeling the last year; she found she could barely breath as the isolation and loneliness suffocated her.  She tried to clear her mind, knowing she still had 30 minutes until she could reach the lander.

 

Everyone on the Antares and at Mission Control was silent, listening to Zoe's pleas and half sobs, the readouts confirming that the life signs from the lander had stopped.  No one wanting to be the one to announce that; to be the one that would "kill" Jen Weston.

Zoe made her way to the lander's hatch.  She punched in the access code and pulled herself and the box inside.  Following the instructions from Ajay, she quickly replaced the part that was not working, crossing her fingers as she entered the restart sequence.  She wanted to run to the next compartment and find Jen, but she knew she needed to get the systems working.

 

She heard a whoop of joy from both Ajay and Wass, the sound deafening.  She hoped that meant the numbers and sequences flying across the screen was good.

 

"You did it Zoe, everything is working and, the oxygen levels are back to norm."  Ajay's voice was proud, then it turned compassionate, "Go save her."  He'd not be the one to tell Zoe.  Not even Goss dared to be the one to deliver the news.

 

"Jen, hang on, I've,"  Zoe grunted and dragged the limp woman to the middle of the small deck having found Jen collapsed by the main computer console.  She was scared, she'd not heard from Jen since the biologist's last words, the ones everyone had heard, Wass's "Holy shit and hot biology geology wet dreams" exclamation testament to that.

 

She ripped the helmet off, wincing as Jen's head hit the lander's floor, the geologist's haste making for the head bump.  She could see no sign of life.  She looked back at the box she had brought that housed not only the new part, but also Beta, "Please, please,"  She begged the entity, the tears flowing down her face, a few dropping onto Jen's cheek.

 

"That's… odd,"  Claire's voice floated over the channel, just over the sobs coming from Zoe.  "She's… not…"  Claire began typing furious, Eve coming and laying a hand on the doctor's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

 

"Oh my…"  Clarie gasped, her eyes sweeping across the screen, looking between the screen that had the readings for Jen on it and the screen she had pulled up.

 

Zoe had begun to take the suit off, her hands running over Jen's upper shoulder and chest, along the edges of the white tank top the biologist had been wearing, having stripped other clothing off as it had gotten hot.  Her touches were gentle reverent and full of love, worshipping Jen's body, searching for any sign of vibrancy and life.

 

"Claire?"  Eve leaned close, her chest brushing against the woman, pulling the brunette from the screen.

 

"This is, impossible, but, Jen, is, I think… hibernating."

 

Everyone on board the Antares as well as at Mission Control was stunned, Goss recovering first.  "What?  Hibernation?"

 

Claire reached a hand over her shoulder, grabbing Eve's hand and squeezing, Joy beginning to creep into her voice.  "Many animals go into hibernation in certain situations."  She pointed between the two screens.  "There is a heartbeat and respiration but… it… look, how she is subsiding, I don’t know but… her body is… in hibernation.  It means respiration drops to almost nonexistent.  We know the entities have been altering the crew's DNA…"  The doctor was intrigued, trying not to let her analytical mind veer off.

"How do I bring her back?"  Zoe whispered, her hands now cupping Jen's cheeks.

 

"I… I don't know, um, animals go into the state and come out with different triggers."  Claire stuttered.

 

"Jen, come on, don't leave me.  You promised so long ago, and I promise never to let you be alone.  How do I…"  She stopped, feeling a presence hovering near her shoulder.  She turned a little, gasping as the entity was hovering by her, the astronaut having not been aware it had left. 

 

She went rigid, her breathing increasing as she was swept up in a hallucination, in a dream, in a…

 

She was in a forest.  She looked down and noted she was wearing light armor, the dress reminiscent of some medieval costume.  There was a sword in her hand, it buzzed with power, glowing the same way the entities glowed.  She held it up and noticed it produced a beam, she followed it, feeling an urgency.  She began running.  There, ahead, was a raised dais, a figure lying prone.  Just as she reached the edge, shadows began to form, deep, dark, empty voids.  Loneliness.

 

"No, you can't have her again.  She's beat you once, she is no longer chained to you."

 

She began swinging the sword, cutting the figures in half, defeating them.  Soon she found herself alone and at the bed's edge.  She exhaled sharply as she saw it was Jen, lying pale in a flowing gown, her face serene, yet lifeless.  The sword glowed, ringing out, and Zoe knew what she had to do.  Taking a step up, the warrior leaned down, closing her eyes as…

 

Their lips met, the forest melting away, replaced by the lander.  Zoe continued to press against Jen, her tender motions giving way to a needy desire as her lips slipped along Jen's, her fingers stroking the olive skin.  About to pull away, defeated, trying not to give in to hopelessness, she felt Jen's lips part as the biologist drew in a deep breath.  Zoe pulled back, anxious as Jen took in an even deeper breath, coughing some, gasping, both her hands coming up and grabbing Zoe, who in turn held tight to Jen.

 

Her eyes fluttered open, the green orbs unfocused for a moment as a deep sense of fear and disorientation swept over the biologist.  This was quelled as she met the steel blue eyes, locking tight on them as if clutching a life preserver.  "Zo…"  She said, her voice raspy.  "You found me…"

 

"Always my Jen,"  She ran a hand through the damp hair, rubbing a few strands between her fingers and marveling as always at the feel and texture. 

 

Jen smiled, licking her lips.  She hesitated, her tongue still dipped in the corner of her mouth as her eyes widened, her gaze averted to just over Zoe's shoulder, her eyes full of awe.

 

"Zoe… I… its… you… you brought me one I can see."  Jen said, tears starting to leak out of her eyes as she took in the Entity's form and beauty.

 

The blonde tilted her head, looking at Beta, smiling.  "Jen, you can see…"

 

Jen nodded her head, reaching up and pulling Zoe to her, hugging her tight.  "Yes I see now.  I see the most beautiful thing has been in front of me the whole time."  She turned and looked at Beta, "That's what you wanted me to see, wasn't it?  That what I wanted and longed for has always been with me."  She turned back to Zoe, her fingers trembling as she lovingly ran them along Zoe's face and through her hair.  "Having you with me… this is the best Christmas I have ever had…"

 

fini


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